Funny stuff

[Moby]

First-year students at OSU's Vet school were
attending their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow.

They all gathered around the surgery table with the
body covered with a white sheet.

The professor started the class by telling them,
"In Veterinary Medicine, it is necessary to have two important
qualities as a doctor: The first is that you not be
disgusted by anything involving the animal body."

For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet,
stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it
and stuck his finger in his mouth.

"Go ahead and do the same thing," he told his students.

The students freaked out, hesitated for several minutes but
eventually took turns sticking a finger in the butt
of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them
and said, "The second most important quality
is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and
sucked on my index finger.

Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough, but it's
even tougher if you're stupid

[stumper]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WNDlf6hA6TY

[ACAT]

HOW THE FIGHT STARTED......

One year, a husband decided to buy his mother-in-law a cemetery
plot as a Christmas gift..

The next year, he didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked him why, he replied, "Well, you still haven't
used the gift I bought you last year!"

And that's how the fight started....


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I asked my wife, 'Where do you want to go for our anniversary?'

It warmed my heart to see her face melt in sweet appreciation.

'Somewhere I haven't been in a long time!' she said.

So I suggested, 'How about the kitchen?'

And that's when the fight started...


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My wife and I were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while
we were in bed.

I turned to her and said, 'Do you want to have sex?'

'No,' she answered.

I then said, 'Is that your final answer?'

She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying 'Yes.'

So I said, 'Then I'd like to phone a friend.'

And that's when the fight started...


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I tried to talk my wife into buying a case of Miller Light for
$1495.

Instead, she bought a jar of cold cream for $7.95.

I told her the beer would make her look better at night than the
cold cream.

And that's when the fight started.....


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I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason,
took my order first..

'I'll have the strip ste ak, medium rare, please.'

He said, 'Aren't you worried about the mad cow?'

'Nah, she can order for herself.'

And that's when the fight started....


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My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping the
channels.

She asked, 'What's on TV?'

I said, 'Dust.'

And then the fight started...


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My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.

She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 200 in
about 3 seconds.'

I bought her a scale.

And then the fight started....


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My wife and I were sitting at a table at her high school
reunion, and she kept staring at a drunken man swigging his drink as
he sat alone at a nearby table.

I asked her , 'Do you know him?'

'Yes,' she sighed, ' He's my old boyfriend...

I understand he took to drinking right after we split up those
many years ago, and I hear he hasn't been sober since.'

I said, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that
long?'

And then the fight started...


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I rear-ended a car this morning.. So, there we were alongside
the road and slowly the other driver got out of his car.

You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little
things just seem funny?

Yeah, well I couldn't believe it.. he was a DWARF!!!

He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM
NOT HAPPY!'

So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are
you?'

And then the fight started...

[1badatv]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3n2RRGLNeLk&feature=related

 

[Moby]

What the hell is wrong with  you?

[1badatv]

 

[helmjama]

i think hes just dreaming of you

[1badatv]

I am just wondering HOW    this guy knows you well enough to write you a song 

[1badatv]

http://lacrossetribune.com/news/local/article_9b8d7648-ac12-11df-85e7-001cc4c03286.html

[helmjama]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aYPmwTtgpo&feature=related

[stumper]

John took his blind date to the carnival. “What would you like to do first, Kim?” asked the John.

“I want to get weighed,” said Kim.

They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize. Next the couple went on the ferris wheel. When the ride was over, John again asked Kim what she would like to do. “I want to get weighed,” she said.

Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and John lost his dollar. The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next.

“I want to get weighed,” she responded.

By this time, John figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.

Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, “How’d it go?”


Kim responded in dismay, “Oh, Waura, it was wousy!”